It’s hard.<\/p>\n
Not knowing what will happen.<\/p>\n
Not\u00a0remembering what did happen.<\/p>\n
It’s hard.<\/p>\n
This swamp water of flesh and time<\/p>\n
we wade through.<\/p>\n
Paper clips, candy wrappers<\/p>\n
receipts, car fumes, hotel rooms ….<\/p>\n
We get lost in the little things.<\/p>\n
There is no map.<\/p>\n
There is no mama to kiss you<\/p>\n
goodbye.<\/p>\n
There is no mama to return to.<\/p>\n
There are no witnesses.<\/p>\n
I’ve been trying to find<\/p>\n
the door handle<\/p>\n
to let myself out<\/p>\n
but maybe I should be<\/p>\n
looking for a latch.<\/p>\n
It’s hard.<\/p>\n
Damn impossible.<\/p>\n
I sit in the disappointment<\/p>\n
between what was and will<\/p>\n
hoping that one day<\/p>\n
I’ll know what it is all about.<\/p>\n
I sit.<\/p>\n
But it’s hard<\/p>\n
not to just put a bullet<\/p>\n
in my head<\/p>\n
and find out NOW.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s hard. Not knowing what will happen. Not\u00a0remembering what did happen. It’s hard. This swamp water of flesh and time we wade through. Paper clips, candy wrappers receipts, car fumes, hotel rooms …. We get lost in the little things. There is no map. There is no mama to kiss you goodbye. There is no … Continue reading Now<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1],"tags":[13,40],"class_list":["post-914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-more-poems","category-poetry","tag-life","tag-suicide"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=914"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1052,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/914\/revisions\/1052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ddeubel.me\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}