It’s hard.
Not knowing what will happen.
Not remembering what did happen.
It’s hard.
This swamp water of flesh and time
we wade through.
Paper clips, candy wrappers
receipts, car fumes, hotel rooms ….
We get lost in the little things.
There is no map.
There is no mama to kiss you
goodbye.
There is no mama to return to.
There are no witnesses.
I’ve been trying to find
the door handle
to let myself out
but maybe I should be
looking for a latch.
It’s hard.
Damn impossible.
I sit in the disappointment
between what was and will
hoping that one day
I’ll know what it is all about.
I sit.
But it’s hard
not to just put a bullet
in my head
and find out NOW.
